GRIZZLY

It's no secret that this movie is a blatant rip off of the "Jaws" formula, so I'm gonna get the hows out of the way right off the bat.

Locale: State forest, being ravaged by unusually aggressive Grizzly bear, is on brink of being closed down for the busiest holiday time of the year. Needless to say, the Superintendent is not thrilled.

Hero: Park Ranger (Christopher George) sick of being muscled by the bureaucrats, bent on stopping the horrific bear killings.

Grizzled Naturalist: Although, unlike Hooper of "Jaws", being a rich kid with lots of high-tech toys, he's a freakin' weirdo who lays around in strange woodland disguises, trying to record info on the local wildlife.

Pilot with war stories: Andrew Prine plays a helicopter pilot who helps in the search for the bear, even spins a campfireside yarn about Vietnam bloodbaths, ala Robert Shaw's lengthy USS Indianapolis monologue in "Jaws".

And an exploding killer creature.

The whys. To make money. "Grizzly" was the highest grossing independent film of it's year, which I believe was 1976. A surprising amount of blood for a PG-rated movie makes the movie still maintain an occasional shock value, but the FX are terrible, and some of the acting is even worse.

Lots of nice scenery though. Gorgeous woodland locales. I stayed up late for this one many times. It's a true crap classic.

SILENT RAGE (1982)

Mad Scientists. Mad Slashers. Kung Fu fury. Chubby Comic Relief.

"Silent Rage" has it all. It also boasts all 4 of what I feel are the 4 integral ingredients of a great "B" movie.

1."What the Hell?" dialogue: "Look at that cell structure!!!"
2.Martial Arts mayhem: Chuck Norris takes apart a bar full of bikers and the antagonist at the end of the film with his high kicking antics.
3. Hey, It's that guy!!!!: Steven Keats, Stephen Furst (Flounder from "Animal House"), and Ron Silver (!), who sadly recently passed away, to boot.
4.Overacting alert!!! Steven Keats in his mad scientist rage of cellular and biological superiority spews venomous f-bombs at former Oscar winner Ron Silver (in an early role for him)

Ron Silver's patient is on the edge and medicated at the beginning of this classic.
His landlady's noisy children drive him over the edge and he murders two people with an axe before Mr. Norris and Silver show up. After much violent struggling and a temporary handcuffing with a brief police car incarceration, our soon to be slasher, John Kirby, is gunned down.

Shortly thereafter in a texas hospital, biological scientist Keats, for reasons unknown to the audience, works as a surgeon with psychiatrist Silver. They try unsuccessfully to save the life of Kirby, played well nearly worldessly by Brian Libby. Keats then tries to play God by injecting an experimental chemical into Kirby, who is an excellent choice for such a thing by the way, (to the film's credit, Silver's character DOES make that point), turning him into an indestructable version of the psycho he already was.

The rest of the film is a generic slasher movie, although skillfully executed to some degree with the use of some tension, and an eerie synthesizer created soundtrack. The odd addition of Norris as the hero (this was post indy-"A Force of One", "Octagon" Norris, but pre-Cannon--"Missing in Action" Norris.) is weird and Furst as Norris' silly sidekick doesn't really work for the most part. Chuck doesn't act here as much as "exist" while the pros around him Silver, Keats, Furst and Toni Kalem, as his love interest, do the heavy lifting if you can call it that. Give them credit they do well with what material they have.

"Silent Rage" obviously is a mess, but an entertaining one with a decent genre climax. Norris was obviously an excellent cinema martial artist, and it shows here.

But overall, it is what it is (I hate that phrase). A good "B" grade horror/sci-fi/karate move.

BILLY JACK (1971)

This one is a pure classic in almost every sense of the "MISULF" word. In the later 70's and early 80's this one was constantly being aired on UHF, VHF, monthly pay, and some sporadic signals being picked up from other solar systems. I saw it many times, one because I was so heavily exposed to it, between repeat broadcasts, and two because my siblings dug it so much.

But why did I love it so much in my pre-adolescent mind? It wasn't the political messaging, which was hamfisted, because I wasn't ready for that yet. It wasn't the special effects, because there were none. It wasn't completely the martial arts scenes, though that helped.

It was the bullying.

As a kid I attended several elementary schools, one parochial, and it seemed like someone was always geared up to knock me off whatever good mood I may have been fortunate enough to wake up with that day. It got to the point of ridiculousness, and made me not want to go to school some days. Now I know being bullied is nothing new to many, but maybe that's why "Billy Jack" was so big with a lot of folks, not just the political views subscribed to by "dirty hippies" that were so much of the film's focus.

Billy Jack was the voice of pent up outrage at those who feel they are in control, and have to force that fact down the throats of everybody else. Tom Laughlin played Billy as a half-breed green beret Vietnam vet who wanders his Arizona locales becoming one with various natures, and protected the put-upon refugees from everyday life that comprise the student body of the "Freedom School", which is operated by Billy's friend, Jean. A local land baron, Posner, rapes the natural resources of the countryside for profit, while his spoiled rich son rapes, or tries to rape, the women of "Freedom School". It's a recipe for disaster.

It's Billy as vigilante that was the selling point for me. For a character that has the ultimate goal of peace for all mankind however, he does spend more than enough time whipping ass. As a bullied kid, that appealed to me. I was sold the moment Billy lands that vicious reverse crescent kick (terminology gleaned myself from two years of Tae Kwon Do study) to the smirking jowl of Mr. Posner, and leaves him laying in the grass of the town square, an embarassed and beaten soul.


The film however lingers far too much on the school and it's inhabitants, and those sequences can seem to drag on forever. It doesn't help the story. "Billy Jack" himself as a character wasn't what it could have been, either. I'm not saying Laughlin had to engage in a kung fu battle every 8 minutes, but the run time overall could have been trimmed to streamline the film into a more flowing narrative, giving it a brisker pace. The characterizations are there, but it seems like experimentation at times.

Nevertheless, a legend was born with the unexpected box office success and public endearment for the character, and there is a heavy nostalgia factor in it for me, as it is a leader in the MISULF (Movies I Stayed Up Late For) lexicon. It makes the MISULF Hall of fame. It's many flaws aside, I still have warm feelings for "Billy Jack".

ZORRO (1974) One Don Diego, minus the Banderas, please

"Zorro" was a 1974 multi-country production starring Alain Delon, who made his biggest American splash as a pilot in the cumbersome "Concorde:Airport 79". My put-upon sister took me to see "Zorro" theatrically during a late 70's rerelease. I remember some serious swashbuckling, fantastic stunt work involving equine action, a lot of Alain Delon smooching, and the song "Zorro's Back", which was used to great effect a couple years back in the Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson collaboration, "Bottle Rocket".

This enjoyed some great late night runs on our pre-cable television sets back in the day, and I'm hoping to track it back down on DVD sometime in the near future. It would be nice if it would not fall into that category of movies & shows from back then that either I enjoyed or frightened me, which turn out to be not so great upon later-life viewings. This is an every growing phenomenon that I call BTARS.

It's an affliction that you lapse into when you collect the popcorn, soda, and snacks and pop in a days-long-gone-by movie that you're geeked up about seeing again only to realize BOY THAT ACTUALLY REALLY SUCKED. BTARS. There is no cure.